she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
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