I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize