Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
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