Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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