I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
