I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
I can't turn off my feet"
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
I got inside last night via doggy door
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
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