oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Damn victory sex feels great
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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