Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
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