mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
My liver just had a heart attack.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
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