So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Randomize
