I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
Randomize