By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
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