We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
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