How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
you traded sex for a burrito?
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
