yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
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