i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
My vagina just recognized that song.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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