How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
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