Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
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