So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
he fucked my hip out of place.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize