can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
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