and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
