I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Randomize
