i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
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