Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
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