He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Randomize
