we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
Randomize
