I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
