I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
We talked him into tasing himself.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Randomize
