I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
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