she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
