I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Help. Why am I so naked?
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