He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
