those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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