We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
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