Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
i out mim tonsoeep
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