ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
