I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
We left the knife in your bed.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
