Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Randomize