i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
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