My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
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