I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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