butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
