she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
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