margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
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