Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
