Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
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