so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Randomize
