Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
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