i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
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