I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
