Define "chronic" masturbator.
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Randomize
