Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
