I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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