He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
