Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
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