Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Randomize
