Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize