Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
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