yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
my being single is dangerous.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Randomize
