? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
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