i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
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