the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize
